At work, I sit next to a loud typer. Any given time, her keystrokes can be heard across the office, so my close proximity to the click clacking rattles my eardrums. Violent typing is said colleagues only vice and if it wasn't for her emphatic hen pecking, she'd be perfect.
I type loudly when I'm angry, if someone or something has gotten up my nose, they can expect a strongly worded, yet exceptionally polite e-mail (a skill I learnt from my darling mother). In 2012, I have been tempted to leap into a violent typing frenzy, because
I
HAVE
BEEN
MAD.
Mad is not a word I use often and is an emotion that I rarely let take a hold. Seldom do I see the merit in getting angry, as we usually get mad for mundane reasons...reasons that are beyond our control such as traffic jams & burnt toast (there should be an international toasting regulation standard where the settings on each toaster manufactured are consistent, to guarantee golden brown toast everytime). Or, we're vexed by others because somewhere (even if we don't realise it) a raw nerve is touched by their actions/words and we retaliate.
From my observations, anger or frustration in reaction to most situations stems from our own brokenness and not the situation we are immediately facing. You get to the point where turbulent behaviour and vicious words seem like the only release. Then, upon reflection spitting acerbic words and slamming inanimate objects seems childish, hurtful (to others and yourself) and unnecessary.
During the times I've been angry this year and wanted to rant incessantly on various social media platforms, I have come to realise that a rant will not help the situation. I can't change those around me whose actions and attitudes frustrate me, I can only try to put my finger on the raw nerve being hit and make changes in my own life so I react in a manner that is not damaging to myself, others and our relationships.
I've also thought about what actually is worth getting mad about. Oppression and injustice make me irate. Hunger, poverty, abuse, segregation, discrimination, falseness, greed. Each of these issues anger me, yet I don't know what I can do to tangibly make a difference.
I am at odds.....and that makes me mad.
