On my 16th Birthday my Mother passed onto me a beautiful necklace and earring set that was once my grandmothers. Being the whimsical romantic I am I decided to save these precious pieces for a special occasion – my first date. Little did I know, that 6 years later the stunning 18ct gold amethyst jewellery still would not have graced my neck and ears.
Yup, I am 22 years old and have never been on a date. Sure there were some fleeting romances during my primary school years, well from a distance at least (I developed my stalking abilities early on in life). Numerous ‘crushes’ and whatnot. In grade 6 there was a boy, he gave me a pokemon card – our love was going to last!! Well it did, for about two weeks. It was bliss and I looked fondly upon our precious time together, until a mutual friend told me many years later that the only reason he liked me was because I was, lets say, one of the more ‘developed’ girls in the class and consequently those fond memories were deleted from my memory bank.
Since the aforementioned experience, I’ve shunned love, turned away. I’m not speaking metaphorically here, I’m speaking literally, and have actually done this. Upon seeing an interest I freaked out I turned around and walked in the opposite direction. That is certainly not the way to let a guy know you are interested.
I’ve always wanted to fall in love, get married and have babies, buy a house on the lake with a white picket fence, a rose garden and a Labrador to go along with it. It hasn’t happened yet, but it will one day. It might not be next week, next month, next year or in 5 or 10 yeas, but I’m ok with that, I’m content to wait. Most days, I’m happy to be single, to be free and independent and to be able to pick up and leave and go yodelling in the Swiss Alps if my heart so desires.
I’m not waiting for my Knight in Shining Armour to come and rescue me from a fate worse than death (a.k.a ‘singleness’), because I’ve already been saved from death, by death and my fate is secured because of it. I wish I could say that I believe this every day, but sometimes I can’t help but feel like some mutant because I do not have a man in my life. Human beings were created for relationship, relationship with others, but more importantly, relationship with God. Scripture tells us this in many places, however I seem to fall prey to gaining mans love rather than Gods love and as I have learnt from experience, seeking love from any source other than God leaves you broken hearted.
God is love (John 4:16). I’ve come to the conclusion that if we seek love in any form other than God then we will only be dissatisfied. Also, I’ve learnt that trying to love others in your own strength is futile, to love others the way they need to be loved, we need to do this through the strength of the creator of love. If we are not receiving love from God, who is love and demonstrated love to us (through Jesus), then how can we truly love others??
Yup, I am 22 years old and have never been on a date. Sure there were some fleeting romances during my primary school years, well from a distance at least (I developed my stalking abilities early on in life). Numerous ‘crushes’ and whatnot. In grade 6 there was a boy, he gave me a pokemon card – our love was going to last!! Well it did, for about two weeks. It was bliss and I looked fondly upon our precious time together, until a mutual friend told me many years later that the only reason he liked me was because I was, lets say, one of the more ‘developed’ girls in the class and consequently those fond memories were deleted from my memory bank.
Since the aforementioned experience, I’ve shunned love, turned away. I’m not speaking metaphorically here, I’m speaking literally, and have actually done this. Upon seeing an interest I freaked out I turned around and walked in the opposite direction. That is certainly not the way to let a guy know you are interested.
I’ve always wanted to fall in love, get married and have babies, buy a house on the lake with a white picket fence, a rose garden and a Labrador to go along with it. It hasn’t happened yet, but it will one day. It might not be next week, next month, next year or in 5 or 10 yeas, but I’m ok with that, I’m content to wait. Most days, I’m happy to be single, to be free and independent and to be able to pick up and leave and go yodelling in the Swiss Alps if my heart so desires.
I’m not waiting for my Knight in Shining Armour to come and rescue me from a fate worse than death (a.k.a ‘singleness’), because I’ve already been saved from death, by death and my fate is secured because of it. I wish I could say that I believe this every day, but sometimes I can’t help but feel like some mutant because I do not have a man in my life. Human beings were created for relationship, relationship with others, but more importantly, relationship with God. Scripture tells us this in many places, however I seem to fall prey to gaining mans love rather than Gods love and as I have learnt from experience, seeking love from any source other than God leaves you broken hearted.
God is love (John 4:16). I’ve come to the conclusion that if we seek love in any form other than God then we will only be dissatisfied. Also, I’ve learnt that trying to love others in your own strength is futile, to love others the way they need to be loved, we need to do this through the strength of the creator of love. If we are not receiving love from God, who is love and demonstrated love to us (through Jesus), then how can we truly love others??
I am by no means an expert on love. I daily fall short of loving others in the way God calls me to, but if I am content knowing I am loved by God and if I love others through the love God gives me, then I can be 122, still never been on a date and feel totally loved.
Me yodel-odel-odelling in the Swiss Alps
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