Phases.

I shared briefly at church today, this is the blog edit.

Across my life I have been through a number of phases. Some of the more interesting ones include:

"Self Hair Cut" phase. Resulted in a 'mini' fringe in the middle of my forehead. My mum happened to have some portraits lined up at this time, so the photos on the mantel piece are a reminder of my foray into hairdressing. I also ended up with sideburns one time, I'm not ready to talk about it yet.

"Punk" phase. Involved a lot a black hair dye, studs, safety pins, badges and teenage angst.

"Hippie" phase. Comprised mainly of tye dye and a lack of razors.

"Nerd" phase. Was mostly spending my time studying. Any other spare time was contributed to creating conversation cards to combat socially awkward moments. Some would argue that I am still in this phase.

But there has also been some other phases which haven't been so interesting...times filled with fear, self-loathing, doubt and a stack of what seemed to be ever increasing insecurities.

As The Beatles would say, or sing, it's been a long and winding road, but thankfully its been the road to Gods door. Or the road God has led me along so I would open my door, my heart to him. Ever since I decided to open the door, God has been teaching me to be me. It's a continuous journey to be me, the woman God has created and is forever moulding into his image.

Most of us would be familiar with Psalm 149, verse 14 states the following:

I praise you because I am fearfully & wonderfully made,

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Do we really see ourselves as wonderful? and even more so, do we praise God for this? For all of the aspects he has knit into us? Likes, dislikes, abilities, skills, characteristics even our appearance? What about all those little idiosyncrasies that make you, you?

Like the fact that I loathe sultanas and like to let my toast go cold before I eat it, yet I love raisin toast, hot straight from the toaster....go figure...

I think all we can do to know who we are, to be me, to be you - is to look straight into the eyes of Jesus. To lay our own lives down. Because to lose your life for Jesus sake is to really find it. So I guess that's the best thing we can do to be who we were created to be.

halitosis.

As valentines day (or 'single awareness day', as some like to refer to it) is rapidly approaching, I couldn't help but pen a few thoughts about v-day.

Across my years, I have never had a valentine. Recently analysis of the reasons for this led me to one conclusion: garlic. My whole life I have eaten garlic most days - my folks used it a lot in dinner as kids and I use it in my meals when I cook. Everyone can detect a garlic eater.....the aroma hits you like a brick wall constructed out of dead feet. And while my case of halitosis isn't that extreme (I hope), I prefer to deduce that my singleness is a result of this, rather than confront other harsher possibilities.

One may expect me to take a cynical and bitter view of valentines day considering my history (or lack there of) with this holiday. Surprisingly (even to myself), it is one avenue I am not going to go down, although I am prone to walk past the street, dwell, sigh and take another lap around the block. Rather, what I would like to concentrate on is the notion behind this holiday.

. L-O-V-E .

Love surrounds us, it is universal. Whether it be platonic, familial or romantic love, we have all experienced some form of love in our lives (if we realise it or not). A large majority of the music listened to today is dominated by the theme of love, as are the movies that are made. Dating sites are commonplace on the internet, with millions of people all searching for 'the one' or at the very least for 'the one that will do for now'. We are all crying out for love, it seems we can't get enough.

It appears that the world revolves around love, but it is because of love that the world revolves.

This love, the love that makes the world revolve - Gods love, is the love that causes me not to turn down cynical avenue each time I stroll past. Just like the rest of the world, I was crying out for love and he answered. His love gives me a purpose and a passion for life. This love - eternal, unconditional, never ceasing love is more than enough for me. Gods love is there for you too, all you need to do is embrace it.

So this valentines day, while all the lovers are out strolling in the sunshine and the singles are lamenting in their self-imposed dungeons, perhaps ponder on the source of love.

It might also be a good idea to avoid garlic for the next few days, cupid could show up. Halitosis and romance are not a good mix.