Phases.

I shared briefly at church today, this is the blog edit.

Across my life I have been through a number of phases. Some of the more interesting ones include:

"Self Hair Cut" phase. Resulted in a 'mini' fringe in the middle of my forehead. My mum happened to have some portraits lined up at this time, so the photos on the mantel piece are a reminder of my foray into hairdressing. I also ended up with sideburns one time, I'm not ready to talk about it yet.

"Punk" phase. Involved a lot a black hair dye, studs, safety pins, badges and teenage angst.

"Hippie" phase. Comprised mainly of tye dye and a lack of razors.

"Nerd" phase. Was mostly spending my time studying. Any other spare time was contributed to creating conversation cards to combat socially awkward moments. Some would argue that I am still in this phase.

But there has also been some other phases which haven't been so interesting...times filled with fear, self-loathing, doubt and a stack of what seemed to be ever increasing insecurities.

As The Beatles would say, or sing, it's been a long and winding road, but thankfully its been the road to Gods door. Or the road God has led me along so I would open my door, my heart to him. Ever since I decided to open the door, God has been teaching me to be me. It's a continuous journey to be me, the woman God has created and is forever moulding into his image.

Most of us would be familiar with Psalm 149, verse 14 states the following:

I praise you because I am fearfully & wonderfully made,

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Do we really see ourselves as wonderful? and even more so, do we praise God for this? For all of the aspects he has knit into us? Likes, dislikes, abilities, skills, characteristics even our appearance? What about all those little idiosyncrasies that make you, you?

Like the fact that I loathe sultanas and like to let my toast go cold before I eat it, yet I love raisin toast, hot straight from the toaster....go figure...

I think all we can do to know who we are, to be me, to be you - is to look straight into the eyes of Jesus. To lay our own lives down. Because to lose your life for Jesus sake is to really find it. So I guess that's the best thing we can do to be who we were created to be.