Thursday, July 28, 2011

.cool kid.

A friend of mine called me cool the other day…. but I have a confession to make…I am not one of the cool kids. I think said person has been misinformed. I’m seriously the biggest dork I know. My dorkiness exceeds all boundaries. Perhaps I’ve become so exorbitantly dorky that my dorkiness is creating the illusion that I am actually a cool kid. The illusion many be present, but I know it’s not true.

I have many weird quirks and eccentricities and if my friends knew them in their entirety, they would disappear faster than a fart in a fan factory (Yep, I did just write that). What constitutes as cool anyway?

When I was in primary school, the raddest kids had extensive tazo collections, brain yo-yo’s and tamagotchis. Instead, I read books, painted and picked my nose. Then, in high school (keep in mind I lived in Queensland) the popular kids wore billabong clothes, were tanned, thin and surfed. I was plump, practically translucent and trembled in fear whenever I went near a surfboard. I did once own a billabong t-shirt, but my nanna got a dirty bleach stain all over the front of it and I think it was then I realised I would never be cool. University provided a glimmer of hope in increasing my coolness rating, but I didn’t do much better. I was so low on self-esteem and critical of others that I spent most of my time reading textbooks and eating my feelings.

These days I’m not much cooler than I was growing up. I might not be so plump and am confident (for the most part), but I’m still an albino, have an irrational fear of surfboards and have never owned a tamagotchi.

The only thing I can put my finger on that is different from then to now is that I am content. I’m happy with the changes that have occurred in my life (thanks to a massive amount of divine intervention) and am learning to accept how I was created. I am a HUGE dork…but I like that and the more I get to know myself, I uncover further layers for oddness.

When somebody is comfortable within himself for herself, I believe this gives others the impression of ‘cool’ (a.k.a. confidence). Perhaps this is what my friend observed…that I am comfortable with myself and the idiosyncrasies I possess. I know that I am outrageously uncool, but if others get the reverse impression because I’ve accepted my uncoolness, I’ll claim it.

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