.big mac.

Melody: I want a Big Mac!
Valerie: But, Mel, you're a vegetarian.
Melody: I know, but suddenly I want one!
(Josie & the Pussycats – 2001)

Nobody needs a Big Mac, especially a vegetarian. No one needs a Big Mac full stop. Particularly no one needs the 26.9 grams of fat, 35.1 grams of carbohydrates & 958 grams of sodium. But that doesn’t stop people from wanting a Big Mac, fries and a coke (but hey, I heard that if you order a diet coke, that makes it okay).

Need and want are two very separate things. We might all want a Big Mac, but what we all really need is some poached chicken breast, brown rice and lettuce with no marinade, dressing or salt. I want an Iphone, a trip to Europe, all 10 seasons of Happy Days on DVD, a 50’s Vintage Couture dress, a lifetimes supply of Carmen’s original fruit-free muesli bars, a 1st edition copy of ‘Jane Eyre’ by Charlotte Bronte, tickets to West Side Story and toilet made out of solid gold.

But do I need any of these things??? No!

Looking around my room, I don’t think I really need 95% of what I have. I certainly don’t need my DVD collection, all my clothes (I would however keep some, for the sake of the general populations eyeballs), the ‘Santa’ Mr. Potato Head I bought one Christmas working in the toy department at Myer, my scarf collection, the co-ordinating sheet sets and the various knick knacks I have lying around (including trolls, a game of yatzhee, throw cushions and a retro alarm clock). I could do away with everything but the bare essentials and still be one of the richest people on the planet.

What we want, often is not what is best for us. All 10 seasons of Happy Days on DVD and a lifetime supply of Carmens original fruit-free muesli bars will only leave me desolate, on the couch, requiring a crane to transport me to see West Side Story, depressed because I can’t fit into my 50’s Vintage Couture dress and having to purchase two airplane seats for my Europe trip so I don’t spill over onto my fellow passengers. The only thing I will be able to do is read my 1st edition copy of ‘Jane Eyre’ on my solid gold toilet whilst texting my friends from my Iphone.

So why am I afflicted with this desire of ‘want, want, want’? There are so many different things I want to happen in my life – but are these wants, these desires what I need??? Circumstances in my life have displayed to me recently that what I want, is not what I need. Moreover, the majority of the time what I want, is not what God wants for me and what God wants for me is what I need.

The above statement generates the following automated response ‘but how do I know what God wants for me?’. God wants us to live a life fully connected, fully reliant and fully alive in him and this is what we all need to live a contented life. He wants us to do as he instructs in Matthew 22:37-40: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbour as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”. Everything overflows from this, when God and others are our focus all other elements in our life come into alignment. He satisfies our needs and his wants become our wants.

Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
Psalm 37:3-5

I trust that God knows what I need more than I do, because, well, God is God and I am not and aren’t we all glad of that!!!

.yodelling.

On my 16th Birthday my Mother passed onto me a beautiful necklace and earring set that was once my grandmothers. Being the whimsical romantic I am I decided to save these precious pieces for a special occasion – my first date. Little did I know, that 6 years later the stunning 18ct gold amethyst jewellery still would not have graced my neck and ears.

Yup, I am 22 years old and have never been on a date. Sure there were some fleeting romances during my primary school years, well from a distance at least (I developed my stalking abilities early on in life). Numerous ‘crushes’ and whatnot. In grade 6 there was a boy, he gave me a pokemon card – our love was going to last!! Well it did, for about two weeks. It was bliss and I looked fondly upon our precious time together, until a mutual friend told me many years later that the only reason he liked me was because I was, lets say, one of the more ‘developed’ girls in the class and consequently those fond memories were deleted from my memory bank.

Since the aforementioned experience, I’ve shunned love, turned away. I’m not speaking metaphorically here, I’m speaking literally, and have actually done this. Upon seeing an interest I freaked out I turned around and walked in the opposite direction. That is certainly not the way to let a guy know you are interested.

I’ve always wanted to fall in love, get married and have babies, buy a house on the lake with a white picket fence, a rose garden and a Labrador to go along with it. It hasn’t happened yet, but it will one day. It might not be next week, next month, next year or in 5 or 10 yeas, but I’m ok with that, I’m content to wait. Most days, I’m happy to be single, to be free and independent and to be able to pick up and leave and go yodelling in the Swiss Alps if my heart so desires.

I’m not waiting for my Knight in Shining Armour to come and rescue me from a fate worse than death (a.k.a ‘singleness’), because I’ve already been saved from death, by death and my fate is secured because of it. I wish I could say that I believe this every day, but sometimes I can’t help but feel like some mutant because I do not have a man in my life. Human beings were created for relationship, relationship with others, but more importantly, relationship with God. Scripture tells us this in many places, however I seem to fall prey to gaining mans love rather than Gods love and as I have learnt from experience, seeking love from any source other than God leaves you broken hearted.

God is love (John 4:16). I’ve come to the conclusion that if we seek love in any form other than God then we will only be dissatisfied. Also, I’ve learnt that trying to love others in your own strength is futile, to love others the way they need to be loved, we need to do this through the strength of the creator of love. If we are not receiving love from God, who is love and demonstrated love to us (through Jesus), then how can we truly love others??

I am by no means an expert on love. I daily fall short of loving others in the way God calls me to, but if I am content knowing I am loved by God and if I love others through the love God gives me, then I can be 122, still never been on a date and feel totally loved.

Me yodel-odel-odelling in the Swiss Alps

.jaywalking.

I'd like to think I was an upstanding citizen. One who has never broken the law, committed a felony, done something illegal. If you were to glance at my life, you'd probably say I was an upstanding citizen. I know better. I'm not upstanding at all, I actually have quite an obvious lean to the left (and I'm not referring to my political stance).

There have been certain acts I have committed across my years that the law would deem illegal.

When I was about 10 or 11, I stole a packet of glass beads. Not only did I steal them, but my five finger discount was from the shop my mother was managing at the time. Who would have thought that a few years later I would hold a casual sales position at said shop?.....

I'm a jaywalker. A reckless pedestrian. I had The Beatles Abbey Road album cover as my desktop image for about two years. Obviously I didn't take John, Paul, George and Ringo's lead, because I seem to do everything in my power to avoid zebra crossings.

To add to my thievery and jaywalking;

I've fare evaded,

Run red lights,

Littered,

Sped,

Ridden a bike minus a helmet,

Downloaded music without paying,

Texted while driving,

Burnt CDs,

& more.

Yes, these may be seemingly insignificant illegal activities. I haven't stolen a car, killed a man with a trident, burnt down a house, robbed a bank or sold drugs. But the way I see it, breaking the law is breaking the law. Whether you drive with an expired licence or stab a man - it's breaking the law. Evidently the consequences of your actions are different and the ramifications of crossing the road at random intervals and random shootings are at quite different extremes.

Each law has its purpose and reasoning behind the legislation. Basically, the law is there for the protection of society, as a whole and as individuals. We cross the road at pedestrian crossings to avoid being slammed by a bus and having our innards strewn across the road. These laws protect us (the pedestrians) and those who may be driving the car (the rest of society). Our actions affect not only us, but also those around us. We may like to believe they don't, but when we ignore and disobey the laws, guidelines, rules (whatever you want to call them) that have been established for our own protection, we can't expect the outcomes to always be positive.

1 My son, do not forget my teaching,

but keep my commands in your heart,
2 for they will prolong your life many years

and bring you prosperity.

Proverbs 3:1-2

This priciple of the law protecting us, also extends to Gods word. Keeping Gods laws, Gods commandments prolongs our lives (it protects us, keeps us safe) and brings us prosperity - a life of abundance! The commandments are not there to kill our joy and stop us from having fun, but like the 'law of the land', Gods laws are there to keep us from harm and from harming others.

The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5 - 7) in which Jesus expounds the 10 commandments (Exodus 20) gives us quite a high standard to live up to, it displays the way God longs for each of us to live and the attitudes and actions he desires us to adopt towards himself and others. Nine out of Ten (well 9.9), I don't follow Gods commandments and I fall and break the law, not only hurting myself but those around me whom I love.

Unlike the law of the land, in which the result of breaking the law is punishment, God does not punish us. He gives us grace and it is because of this grace that every day, when I fall short of what God asks of me, that I can kneel at his feet and thank him that he sent Jesus so that I may be forgiven. It is because of Gods grace, that the even biggest 'law breakers', that sinners can come to him and experience a love like no other. In the eyes of God, there are not 'levels' of sin, we have all broken the law and we all need him, regardless of our past. We could jaywalk every day of our life and God would still be waiting at the other side of the street, arms open, waiting to show us grace.

.nail biter.

My name is Zara and I am a nail biter. I’ve been a nail biter for as long as I can remember. For years my Nanna has tried to help me refrain from biting my nails. Various tips and tricks. Sitting on my hands. Wearing Gloves. Chewing on Gum. Knitting. Anything to keep my hands away from the giant abyss that is my mouth.

One of the more effective tricks was ‘stop and grow’. Nail polish, which also doubles as a ‘biting deterrent’ - the polish is flavoured. To sum up the taste, it has a wretched bitter tang. The combination of a cheap and nasty coffee, sour milk, olives, lemons, vinegar and an old shoe chucked in for good measure. For about month in grade 9 I used ‘stop and grow’ to assist in combating my serial nail biting. That was until my friend stole the bottle and applied it to the end of the pens of all the ‘pen biters’ in our grade. I stopped bringing my ‘stop and grow’ to school after that incident to avoid looks of scorn in the playground. And thus, the non-nail biting came crashing down to my feet.

I remember once being told that underneath your fingernails reside more germs than in a toilet bowl. I lasted for about a week not biting my nails after hearing that fact, but couldn’t resist the germy goodness and went back to munching on my digits.

In the last six months I have been so busy I’ve stopped biting my nails. Consequently I’ve got these beautiful nails. I can now relate to the phrase ‘Oh No! I broke a nail’ and have actually used it seriously in conversation without a hint of sarcasm or mockery.

Today my nails taught me a lesson. I woke up and somehow, one of my nails had a crack and was on its way to breaking. And, much to my embarrassment, I prayed that my nail would not break. This seemingly insignificant and innocuous few words have completely rocked my world. A prayer for a fingernail, A FINGERNAIL!

If my biggest worry is praying for a slither of keratin, then I seriously need to get my priorities straight. My prayer life should revolve around Jesus, how he wants to transform me and use me so others can know of his love. My prayer life should not be focused on my fingernail, but the nails that were driven into his hands so I can be cleansed, purified, loved and have eternal life.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

Isaiah 53:5

.my ideal life.

Imagine your ideal life, the perfect circumstances, the ultimate scenario. If I could create my ideal life, I imagine the typical day would flow a little like this….

I’d wake up next to my husband, who resembled a movie star, a Rock Hudson, Cary Grant type. He’d be the owner/operator of an architectural company and we’d be residing in our dream home, built on the Amalfi Coast. He’d worship the ground I walk on, throwing rose petals at my feet as I walked into the kitchen for breakfast.

Our maid, Alice (who’s dating the butcher) would have made me my favourite breakfast – bacon, bacon, bacon. Our 2.3 children would be sitting at the table reading Hemingway and Dickens and breakfast conversation would be carried out in French, as we’d all be well versed in several languages. The children would scamper off to school in their gold-trimmed uniforms, hand-in-hand singing sweetly…they never fight you see, not one harsh word has ever passed between them.

I would get ready to go to work, slip into my favourite Chanel suit, not worrying about the 3 kilograms of bacon I consumed earlier, because no matter what I eat, my waistline remains a petite size 10. Work would only be a short stroll away, as all I’d be doing is taking my laptop to the local café to write, write, write. I’d be working on my newest novel “Contentment – how to have it ALL and more”. All day long I’d sip on lattes and eat pastries, once again unconcerned about my waist due to my super human metabolism.

At lunch my nearest and dearest friends would pop into the café and we’d sit and laugh and converse about our ridiculously good looking husbands who we never argue with, our delightful, impeccably behaved children and how we wouldn’t change anything about the way we look, because we are 100% happy with our appearance. I’d arrive home and cook my family dinner, made from organic whole foods, we never get sick, ever, but my family only has the best.

We’d dine together, relishing in each others company, recounting entertaining stories from our day. The dishes would be magically whisked away and we’d retire to the lounge to view the latest episode of our favourite family sitcom. After such a tiresome day, I’d kiss my dashing husband good night, he’d tell me how much he loves and adores me, I’d lay my head on the pillow and…..

still feel discontent.

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:12-13

And now I have it all—and keep getting more! The gifts you sent with Epaphroditus were more than enough, like a sweet-smelling sacrifice roasting on the altar, filling the air with fragrance, pleasing God no end. You can be sure that God will take care of everything you need, his generosity exceeding even yours in the glory that pours from Jesus. Our God and Father abounds in glory that just pours out into eternity.

Philippians 4:18-19

.the snooze button.

Every morning I have the same battle with the snooze button. I set my alarm for 7am and have the snooze scheduled to alarm at five minute intervals. The wake up tone isn't some soothing melody to gently rouse me out of bed - its a grating, ear bleeding raucous that makes nails scraping down a chalkboard sound like Beethoven's 5th Symphony. Still, this heinous noise isn't enough to get me up in the morning.

I've tried numerous methods, however none seem to be successful. Once, I was house sitting and was lucky enough to be living by myself. The unit had two levels, with the bedroom on the top level. I set my alarm up downstairs so I had to get up and traverse down the staircase to shut off the alarm. Nevertheless after I turned it off, I climbed back up to my bed and returned to sweet, sweet slumber. Currently, my IPOD is set up to kick off at 7am and even my favourite tunes are not enough to snap me out of dreamland.

Love it or hate it, the snooze button is a powerful tool. In the right hands it provides the opportunity for a few more moments of precious sleep, in the wrong hands it can lead to sleeping in and forgetting an important morning ritual, such as putting on underwear or brushing away that odious morning breath. Either way, the snooze button is much more significant than many of us probably realise.

I can't help but wonder if my constant warfare with the snooze button is a reflection of a larger issue in my life. How much am I snoozing through life? What time am I wasting when I could be achieving so much more?

How can I snooze when there is so much injustice in the world? Brokenness, pain, hatred, malice, greed, envy, jealousy. In a world where children are abused, women are devalued and men are ostracised - how can I keep nodding off to sleep?

God doesn't want me to sleep through life, to waste the precious time he has blessed me with on this earth. As a follower of Christ I am called to feed the hungry, give to the needy, to care for the orphans and widows, pray for my enemies and love what is good, pure and holy.

I am called not to snooze through my days on this earth, but to live each moment fully alive, to live in the fullness that comes through an intimate relationship with Christ. This intimacy can only evolve from spending time with God, through prayer, reading the Bible and fellowship with other Christians. Though sacrificing what my flesh desires, no longer hitting the snooze button and taking that extra time each morning to spend with God, rather than clinging onto those seemingly important extra five minutes of sleep. It is only through investing this time into a relationship with God that we can have the strength, determination and vision to help God bring wholeness to a world that cries out in pain.

So I say down with the snooze button. Let our days not be determined by complacency, saying its okay to sleep our days away. Rather, let our days be determined by the one who created time, who each morning makes the sun rise and each night, the sun set.

.crazy cat lady.

Tonight one of my best friends got engaged. He is the third person I know to get engaged in the last three weeks. My other best friend tied the knot just over a year ago. Three of my previous flatmates are now either married or engaged. And about half a dozen of my comrades, my chums, my buddies are now in serious relationships, engagements pending.

It’s not that I am not excited for my friends who are entering into wedded bliss, holy matrimony, wedlock, kinship. Quite the contrary, I am exceptionally pleased for them, over the moon, just bursting with joy and I mean that literally without a hint of sarcasm – I’m serious.

However, despite my happiness for these friends of mine, I cannot help but come to one conclusion about my future. I am destined to become a crazy cat lady. A spinster that shares her one bedroom apartment with one hundred and thirteen cats. Cats of various breeds, including Abyssinians, the California Spangled Cat, the Norwegian Forest Cat, the Selkirk Rex, a Tonkinese and perhaps even a Ukrainian Levkoy to complete my cat clan.

My apartment will be full of scratching posts and porcelain figurines of cats, I will have a kitty litter sandpit. My precious little ones will only ever drink Evian and eat homemade, organic, low GI food. I will regularly play the ‘Crazy Cat Lady’ boardgame with only my most intelligent cats (although all of them have their own endearing, special qualities) and will wear my crazy cat lady necklace only on the grandest of occasions. Heck! I might even join the crazy cat lady society and buy a crazy cat lady action figure.

I’m lucky that my recently acquired flatmates don’t like cats and won’t let me get one. Adopting a cat would certainly be the first step on a downward spiral staircase.

Obviously I don’t really believe that I am destined to become the neighbour hood crazy cat lady. But with the amount of relationships that are transpiring around me it does make me think about dating, courtship, engagement, marriage, etc.

Honestly, the thought of being in a relationship _freaks_me_out_. Twelve months ago it would have been the exact opposite, I would have jumped at the chance to go on a date. But now it’s a different story, the idea of it makes me want to run for the hills. It’s not that I don’t want to get married, have 2.3 children, a house with a white picket fence and a golden retriever. I just don’t want that to happen as soon as I originally thought.

A few years ago I was like “yeah, ill get married by the time I’m 22, pop out a few kids before I’m 30, then work on my career, retire and become a grey nomad travelling the country with my husband”. Now my 22nd birthday is just around the corner and I’m not married and it doesn’t look like it’ll be happening in the near future. And surprisingly, I am 100% okay with that. I’m enjoying being single.

There’s so much you can do when you are single, it certainly has its benefits. Once you are married, you are mah-reeeeeed. It’s for life! You will never be single again. There’s less responsibility when you are single, you can spend your paycheck on whatever you desire, steal all of the blankets and pick your nose without anyone complaining! I am definitely enjoying many of the aspects of single life. Marriage is certainly in the future and while I look forward to it, there are so many other things to look forward to and I don’t want to miss those because I am too focused on getting into a relationship.

So as I approach ‘wedding season’ I will be keeping far far away from any RSPCAs or Pet Stores. I am sure that one day my compulsion to adopt cats will eventually subside when I am ready to get into a relationship and God sets it all up. That’s what I love about my friends who are recently engaged or married - God was (and is) the centre of their relationships and their relationships were God ordained, God appointed. Until this happens for me, I am perfectly content living the single lifestyle, cats or no cats.

.one of those faces.

Apparently I have 'one of those faces'.

Pffffffft.

I don't understand what that is supposed to mean. I’ve had a few people say to me that they have met someone who looks like and reminds them of me. Numerous others have said that I look like someone, but they can’t quite put their finger on who that someone is. To assist myself in coming to a conclusion on the definition of this ‘one of those faces’ statement, I have formulated a few hypothesises.

Hypothesis # 1: I am a You Tube celebrity. One of my flatmates posted a video of me on the sly dancing around my room in my most derelict pj's singing 'Respect' by Aretha Franklin into my hairbrush. I am yet to be informed.

Hypothesis # 2: I am the subject of a reality TV show...not dissimilar to the movie the 'Truman Show' with Jim Carey. I live in a manufactured world, all my friends are actors and are paid to hang out with me (I am sure my parents have seriously done this at some point) and I am completely oblivious to the fact.

Hypothesis # 3: My past is catching up to me and I've recently featured on an episode of Australia's most wanted.

Hypothesis # 4: A scientist decided that I'm just amazingly fabulous, stole a sample of my DNA and has cloned me. Hence, there are a number of Zarettes positioned around the globe.

Yes, I realise that none of these hypothesises could possibly be true, except for hypothesis #1 - its only a matter of time before I get sprung. But for serious, why do I often get people saying that I have ‘one of those faces’??

All my life I’ve tried to stand out and not be a carbon copy of another. Nevertheless, I recognise that this attempt to stand out has been an epic fail on my behalf. My desire to stand out from the crowd has involved me copying others who ‘stood out’. As a result I have become the one thing I have never wanted to be - a replica, an imitation, a pair of Gucci sunglasses retailing for $2.99 at a stall in Bali.

The last few years and namely the last few months have been a period in my existence where I have been genuinely discovering who I am. My likes and dislikes, my strengths and weaknesses, what makes me laugh and cry, where I fit into the world and the part I was born to live out. These discoveries have only become clear to me as I draw closer to the heart of God and he reveals more and more of his heart and my heart to me.

Despite the fact that I am gradually becoming increasingly secure in my identity, understanding the various facets of my personality and valuing my own uniqueness, I had an interesting reaction to these comments that friends of mine have met a person that reminds me of them. I felt as if my identity was being challenged. I wanted to know who this person was! I wanted to see what they looked like, their mannerisms, what they spoke about, etc. I wanted to compare myself to…well….myself. To see if this person who resembles me is actually anything like the reflection I see in the mirror.

I’m quite fond of the following statement:

“Always remember, that you are an individual – just like everybody else”

It makes me laugh. Not one of those laughs that you hold in and once you reach a point where you can’t contain it anymore you explode - making a noise resembling that of an elephant with bronchitis trumpeting. Not even a knee-slapper or snort-inducing laugh. More like one of those ironic laughs where you have that moment of realisation “Yeah…that’s true…ha”.

We are all individuals; there isn’t anybody else on this planet that has been created like you. You are not a counterfeit, duplication or a hologram. Until we embrace this and truly comprehend it, I think it is in actuality quite difficult to recognise and establish our identity and walk into the purposes God has planned for each of us. Our purpose is inextricably linked to our identity; we were created to live out God’s will for our lives. How can Gods will be fulfilled if we are not the people he created us to be?

So I might have ‘one of those faces’, but God knows my face and even more than that – he knows my identity, in him is my identity and through him this ‘face’ is going to bring him glory.

“We have not come into the world to be numbered; we have been created for a purpose; for great things: to love and be loved.” ~ Mother Teresa

Diamonds: a girls best friend?

"A kiss on the hand may be quite continental,

but diamonds are a girl's best friend.

A kiss may be grand but it won't pay the rental

on your humble flat, or help you at the automat.

Men grow cold as girls grow old

and we all lose our charms in the end.

But square-cut or pear-shaped

these rocks don't lose their shape

Diamonds are a girl's best friend"

As Ms Marilyn Monroe sang in the 1953 film, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes - "Diamonds are a girls best friend"....

There may be some element of truth behind this statement. A diamond will never stand you up, talk back, tell you your butt looks big in your new outfit, leave the toilet seat up, forget to scrape the dishes or spend the entire weekend watching the football. It won't forget your anniversary, neglect to notice a recent haircut, make disparaging comments about your mother, steal the blankets or turn on the cold water tap while you are in the shower.

I seem to be reaching the age where my friends are starting to get engaged. It's a very exciting season....I think a lot of this excitement has to do with my 'inner romantic'. And while I'm not expecting to get engaged in the immediate future, I do look forward to it. I would like a diamond engagement ring. I don't want one that would involve my fiancee declaring bankruptcy or that has the ability to sink a small ship, but as a sucker for all things pretty and one who is somewhat traditional, it would be a beautiful gift.

Thinking about diamonds really made me wonder...what is all the hullabaloo about anyway? Yes, they are striking (and oh-so preciousssssss), but really aren't more than a glorified chunk of rock. An item is really only worth what somebody is willing to pay for it. What are you willing to pay for a diamond? Traditionally, the idea is that a bloke is to spend two months salary on an engagement ring. Now, depending on a persons occupation, this figure could range from $0.00 to the millions.

While diamonds are having a positive impact on the economies from which they are sourced (particularly countries such as Africa), they can also be used to fund conflict. You may have heard of the term 'conflict' or 'blood' diamond. The United Nations defines conflict diamonds "as diamonds that originate from areas controlled by forces or factions opposed to legitimate and internationally recognized governments, and are used to fund military action in opposition to those governments, or in contravention of the decisions of the Security Council." So basically, some people are exploiting the diamond industry, using the money generated to fund rebellion/s, with innocent people being injured or killed in the process.

Thankfully, the number of conflict diamonds has been reduced to 1% of all diamond in recent years. However, I am still perplexed that people have had to die for, like I said, 'glorified rocks'. Another thing to add to my list of things that 'Zara finds frustrating-perplexing-infuriating-overwhelming & inhumane about the world'. [check out http://diamondfacts.org/ if you want to read more about conflict diamonds and your part in helping].

I do like the thought that an item is only worth as much as you are willing to pay for it. Everything and everyone has their 'price'. We can all be bought off. Whether it be money, fame or power, sooner or later, most people succumb.What do you value in this world? What are you willing to pay for? Is there anything that is priceless to you?

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens,

your faithfulness to the skies.
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,

your justice like the great deep.

O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.
How priceless is your unfailing love!

Both high and low among men find

refuge in the shadow of your wings.

PSALM 36:5-7

Fool

This year I found myself at the brunt of an April Fools Joke. I would like to think that with my quick wit, extreme intelligence and super powers (I'm invisible, but only when others are not around) that I wouldn't fall victim to such a hoax. But alas! this was not the case and I was left feeling foolish. Often I am left feeling like a fool. It seems to be happening increasingly frequently too.

Fool [ fool ]
noun (plural fools)
Definition:
1. unintelligent person: somebody considered to lack good sense or judgment. Only a fool would invest in this scheme.
2. ridiculous person: somebody considered to be or made to appear ridiculous. I feel like such a fool dressed this way.
3. food, creamy fruit dessert: a cold dessert made from puréed fruit mixed with cream or custard.
4. court entertainer: formerly, somebody employed to amuse a monarch or noble, usually by telling jokes, singing comical songs, or performing tricks.
5. enthusiast: somebody who is talented at, interested in, or fond of a particular thing. a dancing fool.
6. offensive term: an offensive term for somebody with below-average intelligence or a psychiatric disorder ( archaic ).

Often I lack good sense or judgement. Some of my fashion choices across the years certainly testify to this. Double denim, tye dye, masseurs, hanson t-shirts, bike pants, coordinating tracksuit sets and the like attest to my shortage of judgement.

I'm also quite sure that I've been seen as ridiculous at some point. Those close to me would confirm my sense of humour has a certain element of ridiculousness to it. I'm also prone to dressing up in embarrassing costumes and pulling silly faces, further compounding my foolishness.

Never been a creamy fruit dessert. Not really a flan.

Can't say that I've been employed to amuse a monarch or a noble, but I'd consider some of my friends to be pretty royal and I have a theory that they only keep me around to amuse them. Sometimes they ask me to dress in tights, wear this funny hat and pointy shoes with bells, so that I jingle whenever I walk around.....is that normal?

I am fool for many things. All things pretty, puns, post it notes, geeks, anything purple, movie quotes, flowers, op-shops, organisation, sleep ins, ginger beer and more....

Being called a fool or foolish doesn't rate at the top of my list...I was especially dumbfounded at the fact that I fell prey to an April Fools Joke on the day I really should have been weary of such things. My reaction to this event made me question why I didn't like being called a 'fool' and I came to a conclusion I often come to: pride.

We humans don't like to be seen as foolish, ridiculous, insignificant. However, when I look back at my life, its obvious that I was and am all of these things. Compared to the worlds standards there is so much about me that is foolishness, but God is taking that foolishness and moulding it into something more. What that 'more' is I am yet to know, but I do know that God is going to take this hanson t-shirt wearing, lame joke telling flan of all things pretty nobody and use her in amazing ways, to display his love, grace and unyielding mercy.

Take a good look, friends, at who you were when you got called into this life. I don't see many of "the brightest and the best" among you, not many influential, not many from high-society families. Isn't it obvious that God deliberately chose men and women that the culture overlooks and exploits and abuses, chose these "nobodies" to expose the hollow pretensions of the "somebodies"? That makes it quite clear that none of you can get by with blowing your own horn before God. Everything that we have—right thinking and right living, a clean slate and a fresh start—comes from God by way of Jesus Christ. That's why we have the saying, "If you're going to blow a horn, blow a trumpet for God." 1 Corinthians 1:26-30 (The Message)

A foolish moment.

dictionary definition taken from: http://encarta.msn.com/

Narcissism.

Mirror, mirror on the wall....who's the fairest one of all???

Much to my disgust I want the mirror to reply "YOU! You Zara are the fairest maiden in all the land, famed is your beauty and none shall surpass it" ... I spend too much time looking at my reflection. Spoons, rear vision mirrors, shop windows, peoples sunglasses, water in toilet bowls...if it will display my mug I'll be looking. And while it is unlikely I will be punished to falling in love with my own reflection like Narcissus in Greek Mythology or be inspired to become a model after catching my reflection in a spoon, narcissism is certainly not a healthy characteristic to have.

According to wikipedia narcissism describes the trait of excessive self-love based on self-image or ego. My penchant for gazing at my reflection is not so much on the 'excessive self-love' side of things, but rather the fact that I have to keep rechecking that, yes, what once was one eyebrow is now two.

Generation Y (those born circa 1979 to 1990, depending on what source you believe) is viewed as synonymous with narcissism. I recently saw a comment that stated 'Gen Y make me sick' on a link a friend posted on facebook to an article on an aspect of narcissism. This made me think, well...about.....me and how I fill the typical 'Gen Y' profile...

I found the following statement in an article titled the 'A - Z of Generation Y' on the Herald Sun website... (click here to read the whole article)

"THEY'RE hip, smart-talking, brash and sometimes seem to suffer from an overdose of self esteem. And if there's a generalisation to be made about young Generation Y people, it's that they don't like waiting...they are ambitious, demanding and apparently born to rule. Right now!.....They are generally socially aware, and tolerant and accepting of cultural differences.....They are the most technology-fluent, multi-tasking, adaptable and team-oriented group in history.....They either want their work to "make a difference" or feel work "makes no difference" at all"

Yes, Generation Y may be a group of narcissistic, over zealous, self indulgent, consumeristic, impatient twits (or twitters) glued to their laptops with their ipod in one ear and bluetooth in the other. But they are also pioneers in terms of social justice, bridging the gap between cultures, genders and social standings, striving to make the world a better place (even if it is just to make the world a better place for themselves!).

Like any generation, Generation Y has its positives and negatives. I certainly fit some characteristics of stereotypical Gen Y profile....and other ones I do not. However, I am completely aware of my lack of self-awareness and probably do fulfil more the characteristics than I like to believe. Either way, I get defensive when society criticises Gen Y...isn't it society itself which shapes and moulds the generations in the first instance?

How does God fit into this???? Narcissism does not parallel at all with the life Jesus calls us to live....living humbly and serving others without intention of personal gain or recognition. Philippians 2:14-16 in the Message translation of the Bible states:

Do everything readily and cheerfully—no bickering, no second-guessing allowed! Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. Carry the light-giving Message into the night so I'll have good cause to be proud of you on the day that Christ returns. You'll be living proof that I didn't go to all this work for nothing.

The New International version puts it like this....

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life— in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labour for nothing.

A crooked and depraved generation...a squalid and polluted society....pretty accurate description if you ask me. Whether it be Gen Y, Gen X, the Baby Boomers or any other generation before that...each generation is and has been crooked and depraved, searching for God amongst all of the junk, the rubble that we create. Jesus came and brought life and freedom.

So while I might be a Gen Y'r in theory (and to some extent, in practice)....the generation I really desire to belong to is God's. A generation which lives a life of freedom, walking in grace, overflowing with mercy, serving without attitude or expectation, living uncorrupted amongst the corruption and shining like stars in the universe.

Clothes.

Over the last three years (while I've been at uni), many of my clothes have been from the op-shop. Surprisingly, I would regularly get compliments on my op gear. Nevertheless, I've found that some of my friends have an aversion to op-shop clothes, often due to the fact that a person who is now dead, may have once worn them. Others are bothered by the 'old folk' smell. Neither of these reasons have deterred me from frequenting the local salvos, vinnies or lifeline. A good wash and the item would be rid of any hint of old spice or lily of the valley.

I have found however, that since working full time and having double my previous income that I am making purchases at more 'illustrious' shops. It ain't Chanel, Gucci or Dior, but its a bit 'better' than my regular moth-ball get up. Having this disposable income has made me aware not only of my consumeristic tendencies, but also the emphasis we put on the clothing that we wear.

This emphasis on clothing isn't just limited to females. There seems to be an ever increasing number of males who are becoming fashionistas. Yes, a guy should look presentable, not wear stripes with plaids or in my opinion any shade of pink, but when a fellow spends more time in the bathroom than you do, has a better skin care regime and is prettier than you - the line should be drawn.

Truth be told, we tend to express our individualism through our clothing. There is this group of high school kids who catch the same bus as me in the morning and I always find it really interesting to see the outfits they choose everyday. It reminds me of a time in my life when I was unsure of my identity and would switch 'styles' quite frequently, over compensating with what I was wearing to disguise my insecurities.

Now, I find that I have a clothing 'style' that I am comfortable with, that expresses my personality. But what if my clothes were taken away and I was left wearing potato sacks? It would probably have a big impact on how I feel about myself, how I think others see me. As a Christian, this shouldn't really be an issue. I should be confident and secure in who I am because of who God has made me, not because of the clothes on my back.

""No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money. Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" Matthew 6:24-26

Phases.

I shared briefly at church today, this is the blog edit.

Across my life I have been through a number of phases. Some of the more interesting ones include:

"Self Hair Cut" phase. Resulted in a 'mini' fringe in the middle of my forehead. My mum happened to have some portraits lined up at this time, so the photos on the mantel piece are a reminder of my foray into hairdressing. I also ended up with sideburns one time, I'm not ready to talk about it yet.

"Punk" phase. Involved a lot a black hair dye, studs, safety pins, badges and teenage angst.

"Hippie" phase. Comprised mainly of tye dye and a lack of razors.

"Nerd" phase. Was mostly spending my time studying. Any other spare time was contributed to creating conversation cards to combat socially awkward moments. Some would argue that I am still in this phase.

But there has also been some other phases which haven't been so interesting...times filled with fear, self-loathing, doubt and a stack of what seemed to be ever increasing insecurities.

As The Beatles would say, or sing, it's been a long and winding road, but thankfully its been the road to Gods door. Or the road God has led me along so I would open my door, my heart to him. Ever since I decided to open the door, God has been teaching me to be me. It's a continuous journey to be me, the woman God has created and is forever moulding into his image.

Most of us would be familiar with Psalm 149, verse 14 states the following:

I praise you because I am fearfully & wonderfully made,

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Do we really see ourselves as wonderful? and even more so, do we praise God for this? For all of the aspects he has knit into us? Likes, dislikes, abilities, skills, characteristics even our appearance? What about all those little idiosyncrasies that make you, you?

Like the fact that I loathe sultanas and like to let my toast go cold before I eat it, yet I love raisin toast, hot straight from the toaster....go figure...

I think all we can do to know who we are, to be me, to be you - is to look straight into the eyes of Jesus. To lay our own lives down. Because to lose your life for Jesus sake is to really find it. So I guess that's the best thing we can do to be who we were created to be.

halitosis.

As valentines day (or 'single awareness day', as some like to refer to it) is rapidly approaching, I couldn't help but pen a few thoughts about v-day.

Across my years, I have never had a valentine. Recently analysis of the reasons for this led me to one conclusion: garlic. My whole life I have eaten garlic most days - my folks used it a lot in dinner as kids and I use it in my meals when I cook. Everyone can detect a garlic eater.....the aroma hits you like a brick wall constructed out of dead feet. And while my case of halitosis isn't that extreme (I hope), I prefer to deduce that my singleness is a result of this, rather than confront other harsher possibilities.

One may expect me to take a cynical and bitter view of valentines day considering my history (or lack there of) with this holiday. Surprisingly (even to myself), it is one avenue I am not going to go down, although I am prone to walk past the street, dwell, sigh and take another lap around the block. Rather, what I would like to concentrate on is the notion behind this holiday.

. L-O-V-E .

Love surrounds us, it is universal. Whether it be platonic, familial or romantic love, we have all experienced some form of love in our lives (if we realise it or not). A large majority of the music listened to today is dominated by the theme of love, as are the movies that are made. Dating sites are commonplace on the internet, with millions of people all searching for 'the one' or at the very least for 'the one that will do for now'. We are all crying out for love, it seems we can't get enough.

It appears that the world revolves around love, but it is because of love that the world revolves.

This love, the love that makes the world revolve - Gods love, is the love that causes me not to turn down cynical avenue each time I stroll past. Just like the rest of the world, I was crying out for love and he answered. His love gives me a purpose and a passion for life. This love - eternal, unconditional, never ceasing love is more than enough for me. Gods love is there for you too, all you need to do is embrace it.

So this valentines day, while all the lovers are out strolling in the sunshine and the singles are lamenting in their self-imposed dungeons, perhaps ponder on the source of love.

It might also be a good idea to avoid garlic for the next few days, cupid could show up. Halitosis and romance are not a good mix.

I want to hold your hand.

Oh yeah, I´ll tell you something

I think you´ll understand

When I say that something

I wanna hold your hand

I wanna hold your hand

I wanna hold your hand

Oh, please, say to me

You´ll let me be your man

and please, say to me

You´ll let me hold your hand

Now let me hold your hand

I wanna hold your hand

Today I held hands with a guy. It was great. He is funny, intelligent, and handsome, makes me cups of tea, has a gigantic goofy grin on his face whenever he sees me and never wants me to go home. Basically, he adores me.

However, there are a few facts I have omitted from this picture.

1. While I was holding hands with this guy, we were watching Dora the Explorer and Toy Story.

2. He's three years old.

3. We are cousins.

While I was holding this little mans hand, I was deeply moved in a number of ways. I was overcome with an amazing, all encompassing sense of love that I have for this little guy and his sister. It was like I was so full of love, care and passion for them that I felt I could explode all over them. Although no less than half an hour later when it was dinner time and they weren't co-operating, I was tempted to wrench out my hair, fashion it into a rope and strap them to their seats.

My train of thought then continued.....

"Choo Choo"

What am I going to be like as a mother? I adore these kids so much and have an amazing love for them and I'm not even their mother. I'm looking forward to the day I have children and am certainly happy to wait but when that day comes I'm sure I will be more passionate about them than I ever have about anyone before. And I am a very passionate person, if you knew about my love for stationery, I think you would be slightly disturbed.

"Choo Choo"

This led me to think about how much God loves us. Our heavenly father. How passionate he is about his children. How he adores you and wants to hold your hand everyday. To walk through every season of life with you and pour out his love and blessings, in abundance. He choo, choo, chooses YOU!!!!

"Choo Choo"

Finally, being me, I couldn't help but think about the day I will hold hands with a man [Shock Horror!!! 'Isn't this supposed to be a 'G' rated blog' they screamed], not just any man, but the man God has for me, my husband. For that, I am happy to wait and until then, I will continue to watch cartoons, drink imaginary cups of tea and hold hands with that precious little man.

Spontaneous Human Combustion.

A past time which I thoroughly enjoy is that of people watching. Observing humans is a great way to kill time. I've especially found that public transport provides the perfect environment this activity. Confined space, bright lights and shared oxygen all combine to produce textbook conditions for watching others.

Once (or maybe thirty one times) these textbook conditions have led to me nonchalantly strolling behind a particularly intriguing person, following them home, hiding in their bushes, stealing their underwear, finding used tissues in their garbage, removing hair from their hairbrush and collecting their toe nail clippings. Some may refer to that as stalking. I prefer the term 'humanusobservious'. It's all relative.

In the time that I have been practitioner of humanusobservious I have come across a number of things.

Everyone has a story. A history. A childhood. An adolescence. An adulthood. Loves. Losses. Dreams. Defeats. It blows my mind that each and every person we walk past in the street, are served by at the supermarket and sit next to on public transport has a story.

• The population of my suburb is 12050.
• The population of Melbourne is 3,806,092.
• The population of Australia is 21,573,009.
• The population of the World is 6,706,993,152.
• The population reference bureau estimates that the total number of people who have ever lived is approximately 106,000,000,000.

Looking at those numbers makes my head feel like its going to explode. If I think about how each one of those 106 billion people each had/have a life in all its complexity, its highly likely that I may have not-so-spontaneous case of spontaneous human combustion.

What increases the possibility of my potential combustion is the fact that God created every one of those 106 billion people. Let me put it this way, it means that God made:

• Two hundred and twelve billion eyes.
• One trillion and sixty billion individual fingers with unique finger prints for each one.
• One trillion one hundred sixty-six billion major human organ systems.
• Three trillion three hundred ninety-two billion teeth (not including your baby teeth).
• 2.1836 × 10 (to the square root of 13) different bones (I don't know what that equation means, but if it can't be expressed in normal numbers, it must be gargantuan).

If those figures don't give you a migraine, I don't know what will. The amazing thing is, despite the 106 billion different people God has created, you are one of a kind. One in 106 billion even.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. PSALM 139:13-16

If you haven't heard from me for a few days, it may be a possibility that I have spontaneously combusted.

Romance.

For many spending a Friday night drinking tea, eating chocolate and watching trashy rom-coms with your Grandmother isn't a very romantic idea. It certainly wasn't romantic. But it was a lovely evening, heck, she nearly walked me home - bathrobe, slippers and all. That was until I suggested that it may appear that she escaped from the loony bin. So I took a quick stroll home, pondering the idea of romance.

Romance is a notion certainly not prevalent in my life. My ability to place myself in awkward situations, primarily due to heinous case of foot in mouth disease, usually sends the opposite sex running in the other direction. I too have gone running in the opposite direction from a previous 'love' interest - upon seeing my potential beau after one of the aforementioned foot-in-mouth episodes I quickly spun around and dived into the nearest garden bed.

Much to my embarrassment, like most women, I enjoy the odd (or not so odd.......) romantic comedy. However, a recent analysis of my expectations in any future 'romantic' relationship really gunned me down to reality. I'm not talking some lame super-soaker gun down here, more like a straight at the heart, dead accurate sniper-rifle gun down.

The concepts & ideals presented in these rom-coms are just not based in reality. Duh. Here are three examples which prove this already obvious hypothesis.

1. If you've been a bridesmaid 27 times (with hideous dresses to match), are in love with your boss and haven't had a date in years, chances are James Marsden ain't coming to your rescue. Rather, retreat to your polyester jungle and eat your body weight in chocolate.

2. No bets involving 'losing a guy in ten days' is going to wind up with you getting up close and personal with Matthew McConaughey.

3. If pottery is your deal, I don't think Patrick Swazye's Ghost is going to help you fashion your newest piece of crockery whilst Unchained Melody is playing in the background.

I realise that I sound like an cynic when it comes to romance. Surprisingly, I am far from it. I look forward to the day when I meet a man, fall in love, get hitched, further populate the world and acquire new and interesting ailments as the years progress.

I just don't want to buy into what the world tells me romance is. Watching these unrealistic movies definitely won't result in a realistic relationship. Instead of looking to what the world says about romance and relationships I endeavor to look to what God says about this issue.

A relationship with God at the centre is the most romantic thing I can think of. The creator of love itself, of romance and all things seen and unseen wanting to be involved in every area of my life - blissful!!

I could write so much more on this topic. How God loves you, wants to romance you and capture your heart. Maybe another day.

Ridiculously Good Looking

This evening when I signed into MSN Messenger the Ninemsn news browser popped up and one of the captions read:

"SPRUNG - Celebrities with cellulite"

My initial reaction was 'pffffffffffft - who gives a rats'.

Then I was bombarded by an onslaught of thoughts. Overall I was quite disturbed with how the media doesn't let celebrities have any flaws, almost as if they are meant to be perfect, superhuman beings born with perfect bone structure (as Derek Zoolander would say). The media presents such an unrealistic, doctored and fake image of those in the limelight, using photoshop to the best of their abilities. Unless of course, they desire to make a spectacle of those who don't fit the mould.

I don't mean to rant (well actually, I do). I just get fed up when the media publishes stories about western societies eating disorder issues (pun, not intended, but funnily fitting) and how harmful it is to people in our society, then contradicting themselves by publishing articles about how celebrities got their post baby bodies back. I know that yes, it most likely isn't the same media moguls publishing these contradictory articles, but it still frustrates me to no end.

This also reminds me of the thoughts I have been having recently on age and the aging process. A recent conversation with some friends really challenged my views on growing old and how our world perceives the aging process. There are so many anti-aging campaigns and products around; it’s hard to not be coerced into thinking that aging is bad. Yes, aging is inevitable and there are certain ailments that come with old age that are not so appealing (broken hips, dentures, prunes, mylanta & medication) but what ever happened to aging gracefully???

You only need to observe the 'celebrities' of society to see that people are desperately trying to hold onto their youthful appearance, going under the knife time after time to maintain their looks. Sorry, but cosmetic surgery is not the elixir of life. You're face may not have wrinkles and certain areas may not have yet succumbed to gravity, but just as aging is an inevitability, so is death. You might look pretty, but your life will come to an end, just as everyone else’s does.

My comfort is in knowing that no matter what age I reach, no matter how many wrinkles I amass or how much my hair greys, that I have eternal life and hope in Jesus. He has given me life and life in more abundance.

Ironically, the most beautiful women I know are women who are walking with the Lord, not the celebrities who the world says to look to as the example of beauty. These ladies are stunning, they have gorgeous clear skin, bright eyes, glossy hair and even more importantly beautiful souls. Jesus is certainly the best anti-aging product on the market.

However, you still may have cellulite.

Sorry Ladies.

Boxes

Boxes, cartons, crates, trunks, containers, chests.

Whatever you want to call them, I am good at making them and even better at putting myself, others and God in them.

Recently I have noticed how often I box myself in. Doubt my abilities, my talents, skills and even though I do have pretty rad nunchuck skills, it’s so easy to write myself off when I am presented with the unknown. Although I have taken a big step in the last few months and moved away from the known, the comfortable and the secure, the unknown frightens me. And I don't frighten easily.

Surely I could employ my rad nunchuck skills to pummel every thing that frightens me and causes me to box myself in. I could even ask an even more 'chukky' weapon, that is ask Mr Chuck Norris himself to do the bashing. But no matter how much I try to beat these issues that box me in on my own, it just doesn't seem to work.

The same thing applies with how quick I am to stereotype people. I hate the fact that I do this, because I get so frustrated when I feel I have been stereotyped, but its a trap, a hole, a giant abyss I fall into so easily. Once again, no amount of nunchuck skills or raw, brutal Chuck Norris muscle can change these attitudes, these thoughts that I often succumb to.Funny that the one person that can help me take myself out of my self-imposed boxes and stop boxing in others is the one I box the most. That is, God, the creator of the universe.

Funny that I should limit the one who placed the stars in the sky, whose thoughts towards me are more than every grain of sand and who knows the number of hairs on my head (and in my hairbrush).

Ephesians 3:20 states that God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.

I’m pretty sure that the God who created our universe, who loves me (and you!) and cares about every detail of my life (and yours!) will break down the boxes in my life and with his power (not my own) and lead me into a box-less (or at least a box-reduced and box-decreasing) state of being.

Instead of building boxes, I seek to build on the rock. And that rock is Jesus. A rock, that even in all of his glory, Chuck Norris could not defeat. Now, that certainly is a foundation to build upon.

The Wise and Foolish Builders

"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete." Luke 6:46-50 (NIV)